Super Smash Bros Brawl Half Year Reunion
by StuffJunkers
Summary: six months have past since the Brawl tournament and the defeat of Tabuu. Now everyone has been invited to Battlefield Castle for a reunion. This is a somewhat sequel to My What Are What? Rated T for Sexual Themes, Swearing, Randomness and PAIRINGS!
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to the Night of your lives**

It has been six months since the Super Smash Bros. Brawl Tournament finished and the destruction that the evil forces of Tabuu had disappeared from Smash World. All the contestants had to now return to Battlefield to go to the Super Smash Bros Brawl Reunion. Samus was heading in the direction of Smash World in her large ship.

"I can't believe I failed at my hardest mission yet. Why can't I go dress shopping? There's no doubt Peach and Zelda will be wearing the most expensive dresses anyone's seen." Samus enters Smash World's atmosphere. At the final second, Samus decides to wear her Zero Suit to the party. Samus then sees that not only was the Battlefield stage MUCH bigger, but it was now a large castle. Samus sees a parking lot where The Halberd, Olimar's ship, A couple Arwings and, the Blue Falcon. Samus Parks her ship and leaves while the typical exiting ship song from Metroid randomly played.

Samus was walking towards the Castle doors where she's met by Master Hand and, Crazy Hand.

"Welcome Samus, everyone is in the main lobby, later tonight you can choose which room you want to sleep in and who you want to sleep with" Master hand said in a calm manner, butt giggled after he said sleep with.

"I have magic fingers, I'll sleep with you. I'll touch you inappropriately and everything!" Crazy Hand said in excitement.

"Oh yeah, just leave me without your magic fingers." Master Hand said pissed off. Samus enters the castle while the hands start arguing.

"Master, I love your smooth hands, I just wanted to know what it feels like to touch a woman." After hearing this Master Hand sticks up the middle finger.

Inside the castle.

Samus enters the lobby which has marble floors, marble pillars, lots of little tables set up and a bar at the far end. Everyone has arrived except the fighters from the Mushroom Kingdom.

"I hope I see the one who captured my heart when I saw him during Brawl." Samus then notices him.

"Oh there he is looking sexier then ever, I don't want to come on to him too soon, but I don't want any other girls to get him before me. Samus thought as she walked into the lobby.

"Fox, can I thank you again for inviting me to this?" Krystal said as she put her arms around Fox.

"Well, If you didn't come, people would think I'm gay with Falco." At that moment Falco Lombardi turned his head away from Fox and Krystal.

"Fox and Falco the gay couple sounds good to me." Falco thought to himself, he stood up and got a kick in the balls by Wolf.

"Ha, now you can't have babies!" Wolf walked away laughing.

The Ice Climbers were in deep conversation.

"Nana are we married or, are we brother and sister?" Then a warp pipe appeared on the ground. Mario, Luigi, Peach, Wario, Yoshi, Bowser, DK, Diddy and, Candy Kong came out from the pipe. Zelda ran right to Peach as soon as she arrived.

"Peach, I'm having my...you know what again?" Zelda said all embarrassed.

"I thought tonight was going to be fun, but at least everyone's in this castle instead." Peach said as her mood changed from happy to depressed. Zelda then sees Wario pass by.

"Hey-a Peach, nice-a thong! Now-a you know why I-a went in the pipe-a after you. WAHAHAHA!" Peach then grabbed Lucas and used him as a projectile. Lucas hit Wario and made him fly into the wall. Lucas was fine, but he ran to Ness to tell him what happened.

"WHY THE HELL DOES WARIO HAVE BIGGER BOOBS THAN I DO. HE'S A MAN!!" Zelda ran to Wario and grabbed his arm, Peach laughed at the sight, then she felt a presence behind her.

"Good evening Princess Peach, you've only been here two minutes and you're already alone. If you want we can go to my room and finish what we started last month." Peach realized it was Ganondorf and he was trying to hit on her. Instead of replying, she ran away to hide in the arms of Mario.

"Princess, what's-a the rush. Pit was-a just-a telling me about how-a he will-a become a great-a angel."

"Well don't let me stop you, I feel safe now so I'm OK!" Peach sighed and smiled again.

"Well, in order for me to become a goddess like the great Palutena, I have to find the perfect man to be my soul mate." Pit said with total Confidence.

"Um-a yeah. Good-a luck with-a that." Mario and Peach walked away when something caught Pit's eye.

"Pokémon Trainer has a nice ass and he's around my age too." Pit flies over to Pokémon Trainer who's sitting alone and tossing his pokéballs up and down.

"Hi, are you going to play with your balls all day, or are you going to let me...Oh I mean talk to me because I want to make out...why you're not talking to anyone, yeah lets go with that!" Pokémon Trainer then looks at him.

"The only person that I thought was my friend was Lucas, but he's busy playing with Ness and, Toon Link. Your the only person today who's shown any interest in me." A smile then came on Pokémon Trainer's face.

"I'm defiantly interested I you." Pit said with a devious smile. Then Zelda walked up to them with Wario tight in her grip.

"WARIO HAS BIGGER BOOBS THAN I DO AND THAT PISSES ME OFF!"

Wario then whispers to the boys, "I-a think she-a likes me" Then Zelda takes him away.

"Thank god we don't have boobs, or we'd be Zelda's next victims. I mean look, I don't even have an A cup." This moment was like Pokémon trainer giving Pit permission to look at his body.

"Um...yeah you can look at my face now." Pit looked up and blushed while Pokémon Trainer raised an eye brow.

Master Hand Then came through the main doors.

"Everyone, I've invited someone special to come this evening. We already have Nintendo's original Hero and villain but now we'd like to introduce you to the original damsel in distress. Please Welcome Pauline." Pauline then walked in in her signature red dress. Both Mario and Donkey Kong just starred at the black haired beauty.

"Hussy" Peach whispered. Candy Kong closed Donkey's mouth and kicked him in the monkeyballs.

"Candy, why the hell did you do that?" DK asked furiously.

"If I remember we're on a date. Stop acting like your father. You are Donkey Kong Jr. after all." Candy grabbed DK by his tie and dragged him to a table.

"Hello Mario and Princess um...Toadstool is it? Pauline asked

"Peach is my name, actually. Toadstool is just a nick name people give me. Well Mario, you've said hello to her, now let's go talk to some other guests." Peach grabbed and dragged Mario to the Table that Sonic was sitting at.

"Hi-a Sonic, you-a look dead."

"Have you seen my date, here she comes now" Amy Rose was walking up to the table with a tray of different hot dogs.

"Oh, hello, I'm Amy Rose, didn't we compete at those Olympics?" Amy puts the tray down on the table.

"Yes we did, I'm Princess Peach and this is Mario."

"Well I don't mean to be rude, but I'm on a date with Sonic. Sonic I've got five different hot dogs here for you, plus one regular one I'm going to eat suggestively to turn you on." Mario and Peach took this as their cue to leave.

Snake was trying to start a conversation with the Pokémon and Yoshi but he was having bad luck. "So, do any of you like sweat shops?" They all tackled him for it.

Zelda Takes Wario to see Ike, Marth, Roy and, Link who were having a who's the hotter swords man contest.

"Boys Wario has bigger boobs then me, ME, WHY AREN'T MY BOOBS AT THEIR POTENTIAL YET?

"Zelda, I like your chest, I think they're cute." Ike says trying to calm her down.

"Luckily for you during this time of the month I'm extremely HORNEY, so Ike, is that sword to make up for something, because I love all sizes..."

"You like all types of swords, right?" Ike was trying to change the subject slightly.

"Yeah, sure that's what I was talking about exactly!" Zelda said in a seductive tone.

I"ke just stole my woman, WHAT THE FUCK!" Said Link as he watched the whole thing.

"You know what Roy you're hotter then me, lets go get some martini to celebrate with" Sad Marth as Roy grabbed his ass and said "Lead the way"

Master Hand and a very damaged Crazy hand were making another announcement.

"The bar is now open!" Master hand said to everyone.

"Now you can get drunk and, I can watch, hahaha!

At this point most people were heading towards the bar.


	2. The Bar's Open

**The Bar's Open**

"I love alcohol from different planets, they make me feel like my life means more then picking up plant creatures." Captain Olimar said as he walked a way from the bar with a whole bottle of Vodka.

"Hello there, what's your name?" Krystal asked Candy, curious to find out about the other anthro female.

"My name is Candy Kong. I'm Donkey Kong's girlfriend. Like you I'm a creation of Rare but, unlike you, I'm the least popular character in the series." Candy said as she looked into her virgin piňa colada.

"Well, I may be a popular character in the Star Fox series but, I was only rumored for brawl. Instead there was only a trophy of me." Krystal said a little aggravated because she wasn't in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be in Super Smash Bros. Next Gen, in HD with incredible graphics, while I lay dormant from the game industry for another generation." Candy says upset, knowing that on the planet she lives on, she'll never be as recognized as Princess Peach. Candy then walked out on to the balcony to look out at the sunset and the view of the coast.

"So Poké, may I call you that? I was thinking that since you're lonely and I'm lonely, that we could hang out all night. We can even go up to your room or my room so we're not lonely tonight." Pit said with the same devious smile he'd worn earlier.

"Um...I guess you can call me that. Pit are you hitting on me?" Pokémon Trainer asked looking directly at Pit.

"Yes and I'll say it right in front of you. I'm in love with you Pokémon Richard Trainer." Pit said in smiling and blushing while saying it.

"I don't want to know how you know my middle name. You do realize however that I'm going to need to get really drunk to stay with you this evening."

"Alright, let this evening of amour begin" Pit said as he flew up into the air and did a loop de loop."

"Hey Link, why do you look so pissed?" Snake asked looking at the pissed off Hylian.

"MY WOMAN WAS TAKEN BY A BLUE PRINCE, NOW I'M GOING TO SOLVE MY PROBLEMS THE WAY THE IRISH DO, I'M GOING TO DRINK THEM AWAY" Link walked right up to the bar without further interactions with anyone.

"Stereotyping bastard." Snake sighed

"So Samus, why are you standing all alone, is it because Luigi and Wario are trying to dance to a song by the Pussycat Dolls on the dance floor?" Peach asked. Then Samus looked at the two Italians gyrating their hips and shaking their asses.

"I think that's the scariest thing I've seen all night. Now I'm going to ignore them and answer your question. I have a crush on someone Peach." Samus said in a voice that didn't sound too sure of herself.

"Is it Master chief?"

"Oh hell yeah, he's who I hope to marry, but seeing as he's from the Universe of Microsoft, I'm going to go for the brawler who captured my heart."

Peach walked up to her

"If you love that person, go tell him or her. If you hide your feelings, you'll miss your chance."

"You know for a blond princess that wears a lot of pink and is constantly captured, that's pretty smart. The one who owns my heart is more of a man then all the other men here. I'm going to take your advice and go get him." Samus then headed out through the crowd of Nintendo creatures.

"Hang on, was she labeling me a dumb blond?" Peach asked herself angrily. Peach then sits down at a table to relax. Unfortunately for her she was visited by Snake and Captain Falcon who each put a glass of wine in her face.

"So Peach, I saw you all alone and I thought that I should buy the lovely lady a drink because I'm smooth like that." Captain Falcon said confidently. Then he smiled to show his white teeth randomly sparkle.

"Yeah, well I'm sly enough to study my subject before I go on the prowl." Snake said seductively.

"Your creepy, there's no way that you're going to impress the Princess by telling her that you stalk her." Falcon raised his fist.

"Yeah I bet your smooth enough to slide across the floor after I put some lead in your brain." Snake reached into his utility belt and clutched his gun.

"oh, your not even comparable to me, so stop muscling in on my territory"

"You don't know how easy and pleasurable it will be for me to kill you."

"Go back into your box" Falcon yelled.

"Go put on some even tighter spandex" Snake yelled. Peach then grabbed both glasses and took a sip from each at the same time without spilling it. When Snake and Falcon smiled at her, she acted as if she saw something happen to the right of her and pointed there. When the two men were distracted, Peach spat the wine back into the glasses.

"I don't know what you saw, but I'll be back later Princess." Snake ran off to talk to Pikachu.

"I'll be back before him" Falcon said as he went to talk to a pissed off Link who was drinking a pint of beer.

It was at that moment that Peach decided not to drink any alcohol at all that night.

"Why are bananas such suggestive fruits?" Yoshi asked Diddy

"I don't know some thing about them looking like male gentlemenias."

"Does Donkey Kong Island have lots of bananas?"

"Yes, Bananas a plenty grow there, but the melons there are to die for"

Yoshi got really excited when they heard this.

"Every Yoshi loves melons, what are yours like?"

"They're ripe, round, sweet, juicy, big, full, luscious, bouncing on the trees, they are a beautiful sight. Just looking at a pair of melons gently swaying in the wind is enough to make any man's mouth water. Water so much that you just need to touch, feel and taste them." Diddy said with his mouth watering. Toon Link, Lucas and, Ness heard the end of the description.

"I think I'll have what he's having" Toon Link said to the other boys.

"Mario, why isn't Dr. Mario here?" Pauline asked

"He said-a something about-a issues about-a seeing another-a version of-a himself"

"He's obviously never seen the Paper version yet." The two laugh as their glasses of champagne hit each other.

"Here's to reminiscing" Pauline says happily.

"So Bowser, are ya gonna sleep with that Peach woman tonight?" King Dedede said while laughing

"No, she ruined it for me. First she tells me to kidnap her, then when I tell her that I just learned about sex and that I wanted to have sex with her, she tells Zelda to kidnap her. I even bought a some Beanbean kingdom lube and enough chocolate to fill my hot tub."

"So are ya goin' to sleep with Zelda?" Dedede asked with his southern accent. Then Bowser directs his attention to the table that Zelda and Ike were talking at.

"It's funny cuz he's married." Dedede chuckled

Metanight, Kirby, Mr. Game and Watch and, R.O.B were relaxing on the lobby's balcony when Crazy Hand grabbed them. Master hand grabbed Candy so that Crazy wouldn't do anything disturbing. The hands gently placed them down and got everyone's attention.

"Would everyone be so kind as to follow us to the dining room." Master hand said formally.

"You really don't have a choice because it's supper time and NO ONE MISSES SUPPER TIME!" said Crazy hand. Everyone was now walking to up the main stair way to the second floor. They followed the hands to a grand formal dining room with a large rectangular dining table. It was now time for everyone to find someone comfortable to sit next to and converse with. It is a free meal! If you don't like free food then you phail!


	3. Dinner

**Dinner**

The dinner table was set with expensive silverware. Everyone was sitting by someone. Dedede was sitting next to Ike and Zelda.

"So Ike, I bet Elincia's would love seeing you with Zelda now wouldn't she?" This cause Zelda to look at Ike like WTF? Ike simply turned his head and said

"Whatever romance Queen Elincia and I had in the past mean nothing now. She gave me the Tittle of Lord, which now allows me to lead more Crimean Liberation Army as it's general. Funny how I had met her only leading my small Daen army. Anyway, I'm a free agent right now and Princess Elincia is now the Queen of Crimea."

"Wow Ike, your such a man. You lead armies and you have romanced a secret Princess. I'm also glad that you're single. It makes my love for you grow stronger. Now feed me that piece of Strawberry on my appetizer plate because I'm horny." Ike did it with passion.

"You got told" Bowser exclaimed to Dedede.

"Yeah, well...why the hell did we get a little plate of fruit for an appetizer? It's stupid." Dedede said angrily as he turned to his plate and devoured it.

Donkey Kong was sitting next to Candy. DK's plate was empty while Candy had been slowly nibbling on a kiwi.

"Doesn't Pauline look sexy tonight?" Donkey asked in a soft admiring tone. Candy looks at Pauline who's conversing with the Mario Bros.

"Why do people love her? She's even less known then I am. Everyone mistakes the woman your father kidnapped in the junkyard for Peach. Even though Peach is 21 and Pauline is 30. Hey, why don't I just throw out that I'm 21, I doubt that anyone cares but I'll put it out there anyway." Candy says dropping her kiwi onto her full plate of fruit.

"It's funny how fast Cranky became old. Candy you have to remember, Cranky was struck by her beauty. Then Mario locked Cranky up so the DK we all love had to rescue him. Those were the days everyone called him Donkey Kong Jr. So the lust for Pauline must be genetic." Diddy said to Candy who was sitting on his left. He then turned to his right to talk to Toon Link.

"Toon Link I was talking to Yoshi about Melons, not breasts."

"I always thought melons were codewords for boobies?"

"Go back to the real world sailor boy." Diddy said as he twisted Toon Link's head back to the table.

"Time for the first course, Chicken Noodle Soup." Master hand said as Shy Guys dressed in waiter suits came through the kitchen doors with a few large pots of Chicken Noodle Soup and started serving them to the guests.

"NO COMPLANING! CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP IS FANCY ENOUGH!" Crazy Hand yelled.

Mr. Game and Watch and ROB were watching the Shy Guys serving the soup.

"Beep" Mr. Game and Watch said when the Shy Guy came up with the Soup.

"Well if you don't like the way the bathroom mirrors make you look pixelated, blame yourself" The Shy Guy said rudely. ROB then used his laser eyes to disintegrate him. The two laughed as Mr. Game and Watch threw some dynamite at the Shy Guy dust. This made them laugh harder. They have such a weird sense of humor.

"Pika Pika Cha" Pikachu said to Kirby while they ate the soup. Kirby then decided to inhale his soup. Pikachu hid his soup under the table but Kirby inhaled Pikachu and the soup. Kirby then spat Pikachu back out. Then 2 random Shy Guys came out and cleaned Pikachu. Metaknight saw this.

"As the serious knight I have an obligation to do this Pikachu." Metaknight took out a digital camera and photographed him.

"This is going in my cute album!" Metaknight exclaimed. Pikachu then zapped him, stole his soup and took a picture of Metakinght with his random digital camera. Pikachu then closed his eyes, tilted his head, smiled and said

"Cha" Then Pikachu devoured Metaknight's soup.

"I hate your cuteness" Metaknight said as he laid on the floor twitching. Then the Chuck Norris picture on the wall pointed at Metaknight and said

"Pwn'd" Jigglypuff, Squirtle, Charazard, Pichu and, Ivysaur laughed at him after watching the entire thing.

Pit and Pokémon Trainer were sitting next to each other.

"So, I hope your noodle is hard and not soft like these" Pit said as he put another spoonful of soup.

"Pit, I'm not nearly drunk enough to be turned on by what you're saying, in fact I haven't drank anything alcoholic at all yet?"

"Then why don't you drink the wine that's in front of you?" Pit was pointing to a glass of red wine in front of Pokémon Trainer.

"Marth, isn't that just the cutest thing! Young gay love." Roy said who was sitting on the side opposite of him with Marth.

"It looks more like manipulation to me." Marth said drinking his wine.

Time for course number two of our four course meal steak, salad, potatoes, buns and love." Everyone looked at Master Hand weirdly after he said love.

"Do you people want us to show you public signs of affection? No, then EAT!" Crazy Hand said as he started stroking Master Hand.

The King of Hyrule came into the dining room for a second just to say

"Dinner" he then humped out the window onto a magic carpet with the magic carpet guy and flew off.

"He's so damn embarrassing" Zelda said with her teeth clenched.

"So much for not showing us any public signs of affection? Seeing those two get all touchy feely is making me loose my appetite" Mewtwo said to Lucario. Unknown to Mewtwo, Lucario had a crush forming for the alien looking pokémon. He tried to hide his blush by pretending the piece of steak he'd just ate was hot.

"Lucario, your piece of steak doesn't look that hot. I think you are either overreacting, or your mouth is sensitive to any thing warm.

"There go those thoughts again" Lucario thought.

"What thoughts? Mewtwo asked. Lucario looked at him with a bright red face.

"Thoughts about...puppies, yeah."

"You are so weird Lucario, I can't decipher you at all."

"Ganondorf, I hate life. Why do I hate life you may ask, I hate life because women are complicated. Why don't I just go for men?" Link said as he devoured his meal in a minute.

"Boo hoo, I don't care. Why don't you go cut yourself. That helps everyone who hates their life." Ganondorf answered coldly.

"Dessert Time is NOW, That means I'm going to cover Master Hand in cake and what ever else." Crazy hand announced.

"Oh Crazy Hand, how I love what you say to get dominance." mister Hand said seductively. Unfortunately for the guests, that's exactly what Crazy Hand did. This made Master Hand make moaning noises because of the pleasure.

"Wario what are they doing?" Ness asked

"They're-a playing an-a adult-a game."

"Well, if Ness and I did that we'd get all dirty. So I guess I'm going to eat my cake."

"Sonic, will you feed me?" Amy asked in a dreamy tone.

"Naw, I want to feed myself. Through out the entire dinner, Sonic had been watching Krystal. Krystal had been talking to Fox while Falco tried to get his attention and Wolf ate his food like an animal.

"What's so special about her, she's no where near as cute as I am" Sonic bursted out in laughter.

"Wow, this evening's turning out like every day. You just ignore me. I hate it. Can't you just say you love me?" Sonic looked at her and said

"No" Amy threw her cake in Sonic's face as Game and Watch threw dynamite at him. Then ROB and Mr. Game and Watch laughed with their beeping noises.

"Samus, we've gone through the whole meal and you haven't told me who it is?" Peach said.

"Sorry, I was a little distracted by Snake and Falcon who've been competing to see who can eat more and forcing poor Olimar to be the judge to tell you."

"I'm sorry but that was seriously messed up." Peach said as she looked looked around and caught Ganondorf staring at her with a wide smile on his evil face.

"Um, Samus now you know why I haven't been drinking alcohol to night. All the men, especially Ganondorf would have their way with me. So can you at least point out who you like?"

"There he is" Samus pointed at one of the Super Smash Bros. Males.

"Oh him" Peach replied.


	4. On the Prowl

**On the Prowl**

Every one had now returned to the lobby. Samus was walking with Peach.

"So when are you going to talk to him?" Peach asked

"When my nerves calm down"

"When will that be?

"Next millennium"

"No, I'm taking charge of your life now. Go out there and talk to him." Peach then turned Samus around and pushed her forward.

"Fine but I'm going to get so drunk if he says no." Samus walked out into the crowd of guests. Peach took a seat.

"I wonder if it's time to steal Mario back from Pauline?" Then ROB went up to her with a glass of red wine.

"ROB, it's a sweet gesture but, I'm not going to drink this evening. Thank you though" Rob then pointed at Ganondorf who was standing on the other side of the lobby smiling at her again.

"Oh, I see now. It's from Ganondorf. Peach places the glass with the other two from Falcon and Snake. ROB rolled off into the crowd.

Samus then approached the one she desired.

"Through out the Melee tournament and the Brawl tournament I've been drawn to you. You are by far the finest example of a man. Mr. Game and Watch, I've fallen deeply in love with you." Mr. Game and Watch turned to her and shook his head no.

"What do you mean no. Out of every man here I've fallen in love with you. Now you just throw it in my face?" Samus is getting incredibly angry now. Then ROB went right next to Mr. Game and Watch.

"Do you mind, I'm trying to have a private conversation." After Samus said that, Mr. Game and Watch walks over to ROB and gives him a big kiss. ROB over heats a little as a robot blush. Samus walks over to ROB

"I hope your thruster melts" Then she walks over to Mr. Game and Watch

"You had a chance with me, I ACTUALLY LOVED YOU. Now your going to have to live with out me. Remember this when you loose so many pixels and your robotic sex toy malfunctions" Samus the grabs her whip, grabs Mr. Game and Watch and throws him into ROB.

"Well Samus, it looks like you could use a real man" Captain Falcon had randomly appeared in front of her.

"Captain Douglas Jay Falcon this is quite a surprise."

"When he said real man he meant me." Snake had also appeared with a rose. He handed the flower to her.

"Solid Snake, this is also quite a surprise."

"So Samus, can I interest you to come into my cardboard box?"

"No, she's coming with me into the Blue Falcon."

"Now boys calm down I've made my decision and I know what I'm going to do" Samus jump kicks both onto each other.

"I'm going with neither of you. How dare you try to score me on the rebound." Samus walks away angrier then before.

"You know your muscles are really hard." Snake said with admiration laying on Falcon. Falcon's eyes then got a little wider.

"I'm scared now because that's not the only thing that's hard" Both the men jumped off the floor, walked to opposite corners of the room and hide what their spandex pants were revealing.

"Alright, Mario's gone to the bathroom, now I'm going to hit on Pauline." DK said while straitening his tie.

"Yeah, say that right in front of me your girlfriend." DK didn't listen, he completely ignored her and walked towards Pauline.

"Good evening Junior, any plans for kidnapping me because I don't except the Mini Donkey Kong toy? I'm just kidding, sit lets chat, we haven't spoke since you took me to the top of the Mario Toy company building." How's your father doing these days?" Pauline asked politely.

Well, my Mother who captured my fathers heart after he took you had died a while ago, he misses her dearly. Yet he's still as grumpy as ever."

"Does he still lecture you?"

"Yes, daily"

Samus had now gone back to see Peach.

"He's in love with ROB, I can't compete with a robot." Samus said crying.

"I had a feeling, they were very close at dinner."

"What do I do now? He was my ROCK!"

"Well, I think we need to find you someone better." Peach spots Candy walking alone and looking pissed.

"Hey Cristy, come here." Candy heard and walked over.

"My name is Candy remember."

"It doesn't matter what your name is, I need your help to find Samus a man."

"With the popularity Samus has, I wouldn't be surprised if we don't find one right away, so sure I'll help." Candy had just realized that the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom wanted her help.

"Samus this is Candy Kong, Candy this is Samus Aran."

"Nice to meet you" Both girls said at the same time.

"Let's go, I can already smell a happy Samus."

At the Table next to them Amy was forcing alcohol into Sonic.

"Amy, how much do I need to drink?"

"You need to drink until I'm beautiful" Amy said viciously.

"I'll die from alcohol poisoning before I say that." Amy then threw the bottle on the ground and ran away crying.

"Now I can focus on getting that hot blue fox." Captain Olimar then sole the bottle Amy threw and drank it like the desperate fool he is.

"Good evening Bowser, Samus is looking for a man, so I was hoping that maybe you can be that man." Peach said full of confidence.

"Now I will finally get my sex!! Wait, seeing as there are three beautiful blonds in front of me, why don't we have a foursome?" The girls then looked at each other.

"You poor desperate turtle man." Candy said

"Don't call us we'll call you." Samus said as she ran off with the two other girls.

The girls then tried the evil Ganondorf.

"Hello Peach, I had a feeling you'd be visiting me." Ganondorf was only looking at Peach.

"Ganondorf, we were wondering if you would be Samus' man?" Candy asked because Peach was hiding behind her. Ganondorf then looked at Samus, then he looked back at Peach.

Thank you for the offer but, I'm perusing something sweeter, something like a...Ripe Peach." Peach shuddered as Ganondorf said this.

"Thank you for your time, I practically give myself to you and you want Peach." The three women left as Ganondorf stared at Peach's ass.

"These men are either pigs or they only have one woman in mind." Samus said in disgust.

"There's only one thing left for us to do" Peach said seriously.

"I don't know, don't you think Itagaki would get pissed?" Candy asked nervously

"We have no other choice." Peach said

Ganondorf had now walked out to the balcony, Bowser followed.

"I'm surprised your interested in Peach, you even let Samus slip out of your grasp, Peach is a lost cause, don't waste your time on her. Besides didn't she beat you up?"

"I don't need to explain my feelings for Peach to you. Go suck Link's penis. It would keep him away from asking me dumb questions. Now for the fact she beat me up, she's one of the Six Universal Princesses, she can do whatever she wants. Now fuck off." Bowser left right away

"I'm sure the other five Universal Princesses will show up at around midnight, but that man is not taking mine." Ganondorf stared out at the starry horizon at ten o'clock.


	5. More Relationship Issues

**More Relationship Issues**

"Samus this is so humiliating, why do we all have to wear them?" Peach asked as the three girls walked out of the bathroom.

"It was your idea and, I wasn't going to wear it if you two weren't." Samus said seriously.

"Why won't they stop moving?" Candy asked scared about what she was wearing. The three girls walk out of the hall. Mario notices them all right away.

"Hey-a Peach, why-a are-a you boobs constantly moving-a?" Mario asked, curious about the fact that her breasts were moving even thought she wasn't.

"These are the new Havoc Engine Bras, Don't tell Itagaki, or my kingdom or, Miyamoto. PLEASE!" Peach pleaded.

"Your-a secret-a is-a safe with-a me." Peach then sees Wolf is alone.

"I wonder if Wolf would commit to Samus?" Peach thought to herself.

"So Trainer, are you drunk enough yet?" Pit asked because he was growing impatient with Pokémon Trainer's constant stalling.

"Pit, I'm not in love with you, I'm sorry," Pit's heart sank a little, Pit then grabbed Pokémon Trainer in his arms and flew him out of the lobby.

"Pit, I don't understand, where are we going?" Pokémon Trainer asks as they fly through various halls.

Pit takes Pokemon Trainer to a room that has a leather couch, the entire sealing is a sunroof allowing moonlight to come in, and a beautiful view of the stars and the moon. There's a fifty inch LCD HD TV in the room as well.

"Pit, I don't think you understand, I'm not..." Pit covered his mouth with his index finger.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to play with my Wii?"

"Are you using a Nintendo console as an innuendo?" Pit brings out a Wii Remote and turns the Wii on.

"No, I actually want to play Wii with you."

"Oh, that's different then. I want to play Paper Mario on Virtual Console." Pit has a plan to get to know Pokémon Trainer privately before he lunges himself on PT again.

"So, what do you think of when you hear the word angel?"

"Well...Death because angels live in heaven."

"Well I like to think I'm drop dead gorgeous" Pit says completely confident

"You are pretty cute...OH GOD DID I JUST SAY THAT?" Pokémon trainer sits nervously as Pit stares and gives him a devious smile.

"I have to go drink some bleach now" As Pokémon Trainer stood up, Pit grabbed his arm and pulled him back down.

"You aren't going anywhere. You have to play Paper Mario."

Back in the lobby Master Hand told everyone that Crazy Hand and himself were going out to capture some magic together but they wanted all the little people in bed.

Falcon picked up Ness and Lucas, Snake picked up the Ice Climbers. Toon Link was fighting and pleading not to go to bed until he got distracted by Samus' constantly bouncing breasts. That made it easy for Dedede to grab him. Same went for Diddy when he saw Candy. Ironically, he was telling Pikachu the same thing he told Yoshi about the DK Island Melons when she walked up to them. Yoshi decided to go to bed because he was getting kind of tired.

"DOWN WITH DISCRIMINATION!" Ness yelled after escaping from Captain Falcon. Unfortunately Lucario trapped him is a psychic proof bubble and took him down the hall. Lucas then saw Mewtwo near him and, after what he just witnessed with Ness he walked to his room in fear.

After ten minutes, the little people were in their rooms trying to go to sleep.

"I can't believe that we have to go to bed while they party all night." Lucas said in after sitting up on his bed.

"Nana, lets share a bed. That way it's cute if we're siblings or normal if we're married." Popo said as he jumped on the bed he claimed.

"I'm twelve, that pink hedgehog is my same age but she gets to hang out with them." Toon Link said as he scowled.

"Don't get all angry like the older Link from another time on your planet." Diddy said remembering Link's angry rampage.

"I think this is unfai..." Ness was distracted by something. Lucas, Nana, Popo, Pichu, Toon Link, Diddy and, Yoshi looked to see what Ness was looking at. At the same time everyone said:

"Wii" They all rushed to the HDTV to play it.

Falco was hoping that Fox would notice him.

"So Fox, seeing as Krystal's in the bathroom, maybe you'd like to talk or, get wasted with me?"

"Well, I was hoping that Krystal and I could do some special stuff this evening." Fox said looking the wall in front of them.

"You mean your going to have sex with her."

"Pretty much"

"You do that every night in the Great Fox, why do it on such a special occasion?"

"Falco, stop it right there. I know your jealous but, you have to realize that...Krystal is my woman and she's who I truly love. Sorry but you can't have her." Fox said in a serious tone as he stood up and walked away." Falco's jaw had dropped as he watched Fox McCloud walk away.

"He thinks I want Krystal, he's completely oblivious. He doesn't even realize how madly my love grows for him"

"How madly your love grows for who?" Krystal had just walked up to the Mr. Lombardi.

"Oh, um...Teletoon, yeah my love for Teletoon grows stronger every year, hehe." Falco had turned incredibly red.

Are you sure you don't mean someone else?"

"No, I love Teletoon. In fact I'm planning to go to earth, land in Toronto and legally marry Canada's leading cartoon channel."

"Um, OK. Falco, are you sure you don't want to marry Cartoon Network. It's in Atlanta."

"No, Teletoon's shows are better quality." Falco says as he turns and looks at fox.

"Falco, I may sound like a man when I say this but...you need to get laid." Krystal stood up, walked to Fox and started talking to him. After a few seconds, Fox looked over at Falco. Then both Fox and Krystal walked over to Falco.

"Falco, I'm sorry for thinking that you are hot for Krystal. God luck with Teletoon. You made the right choice because Cartoon Network is lame and Teletoon has the hit animated series 6teen." Fox and Krystal walked away again.

"Dammit, that was so damn stupid."

"You want to know what's stupid, Ike taking my woman" Link said as he passed Falco. Link was still going on about Zelda.

"Screw what Krystal thinks, that dude needs to get laid" Falco said as he walked towards the bar.

"Good evening Zelda and Ike. Zelda just to let you know Link's still pissed that Ike "stole you from him." Falco said as he continued walking towards the bar.

"Link only saved both Hyrule and the Twilight Realm and his relative saved a land called Termina but that's it. He's never complemented me or commit to my pleasure. I have needs and Link was never able to fulfill my desires. Besides today was the first time I think he's actually talked. Usually he makes grunting noises."

"See you later Falco" Ike said as he lifted Zelda up bridal style and walked away with his prise.

"Why can't Fox do that to me?"

" Boyu" Kirby said trying to hit on Jigglypuff.

"Jiggly, Jigglypuff" Jigglypuff said in detest as she drew on Kirby's face and Walked away.

"Haw, you suck at getting' women" Dedede said laughing with Wario. As usual Kirby ate both and spat them against the wall Mr. Game and Watch. Samus was really close and she said:

"That's karma bitch."

Luigi was sitting next to Olimar, telling him about Daisy.

"My Princess is-a hotter then-a Peach" Ganondorf heard this and walked up to him.

"Princess Daisy isn't as attractive as Princess Peach. Maybe I prefer Blonds, I don't know but that poser isn't as hot as Peach." Ganondorf walked away.

"What's his damage?" Olimar said after he left.

"Good evening Pauline, We're here to re-claim our property." Candy Kong said with Peach standing next to her.

"Take those ridicules bras off, this is Super Smash Bros. Not Dead or Alive. Besides who said that you owned these two gentlemen?" Pauline answered.

"He's my boyfriend" Candy said angrily.

"Mario, Donkey Kong, these two are annoying me, can you make them go away?" Mario and DK were hipnotysed by the bouncingness.

"Hey look it's Il Piantissimo" The girls look over at Marth and Roy kissing. While the girls are ditracted, Pauline kisses both Mario and DK. This hypnotizes them again to dstay with Pauline.

"That's not Il Piantissimo, hang on why are they still sitting with you?" Peach asked

"Because they like me better."

"You'r evil." Candy says with the rage building up in her bady.

"No, I was replaced by a ditzy blond Princess. Now I have some more catching up to do"

"We are not letting her get away with that." Candy said standing with Peach.

"Don't woory, I know someone that can help." Peach takes out her cell phone dils a number, then puts it to her ear.

"Hello, Kelly It's Peach. Yeah we have a CODE BETCH here and we need your help."


	6. Karaoke Betch

**Karaoke Betch**

Roy sees a karaoke machine on a stage.

"That looks FABULOUS!"

"Roy, I thought we were non stereotypical homosexual princes." Marth said as with his deep blue eyes looking disappointed.

"Sorry, sometimes it just...slips out, like you did when we were at that orgy" Roy said back at him.

Wolf who was just walking by heard this and said "I'm going to puke!". Roy then ran on the stage like Toon Link on crack. He turned to the large Machine behind him and found a song that he liked a lot.

"This is perfect!" Roy whispered as he pushed the button, turned around and grabbed the microphone. Then very Japanese sounding 80s music blaring on the speakers. This caught everyone's attention. Then Roy began singing.

"_He said that he loved me he never would go, Oh-oh oh-oh. Now I find I'm sitting here on my own, Oh-oh, oh-oh._"

"What's he singing?" Peach asked. Samus quickly took her pocket computer out an analyzed the song.

"He's singing a one hit wonder from 1981 called Japanese Boy by a singer named Aneka."

"Weird" Candy replied.

"_Was it something I said or done? To make him pack his bags up and run? Could it be another he's found? He's breaking up a happy home. Mister can you tell me where my love has gone, he's a Japanese boy" _Roy then points at Marth at this point. The audience looks at the Navy blue haired prince and started laughing.

"I'm so embarrassed" Marth sighed.

"We're never letting you live this down" Dedede squawked.

"_I woke up this mourning and my love was gone. Oh my Japanese boy. Oh I miss my Japanese Boy._"

"Boo, get off stage before I set it on fire and make your precious "Japanese Boy" eat it!" Bowser threatened.

"I thought it was very romantic! Obviously you people have no taste in music."

"You have no taste in music you raging flamer. Now, I'm an evil master mind who hasn't been laid since I was twenty. Don't piss me off or I'll go against my nature and RAPE YOU!" Bowser growled. Roy ran into Marth's arms.

"Ike, I'm really drunk so I'm going to sing a song." Zelda ran on stage and didn't bother turning on the music.

"_I kissed a girl and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick. I _ kissed a girl just to try it, I hope my boy friend don't mind it"

Then Link yelled. "I'D VIDEO TAPE IT"

"_It felt so wrong, it felt so right don't mean I'm in love tonight. I kissed a girl and I liked it._" Zelda grabs Mr. Game and Watch kisses his 2D lips then threw it back into the audience. Samus' jaw dropped as she starred.

"Samus, look away" Peach tells to the frozen bounty hunter.

"_Actually, I didn't like it. I prefer Ike." _Zelda dropped the mic and jumped and felt the caring embrace of Ike.

"You do realize Mr. Game and Watch is a guy right?" Ike giggled.

"He doesn't have a penis so I thought he was."

"Hehe, Sonic doesn't have one either." Ike laughed a little more.

"I always thought of him as a wannabe Mario who got castrated at birth." Zelda replied as she hugged Ike tighter.

Amy was sitting next to a drunk Hedgehog.

"Am I beautiful yet?" Amy said wiping a tear away from her left eye.

"No, your still a fugly little girl" The drunk hedgehog said while slurring his words.

"Why do you say such mean things to me?" Amy said as her eyes began to water even more.

"Because you stalk me, assault me and think I will commit to you. I'll never love you Amy Rose because your pathetic, weak, annoying and NOT BEAUTIFUL on the outside or on the INSIDE!"

"Your just drunk, you don't actually think that of me?" Amy said as she began to cry.

"It's weird. I feel like this alcohol you've forced down my throat is making me tell...the truth. Wow, I never knew when I'd tell you but thank god you're not mad." Amy then took out her Piko Piko Hammer and smacked Sonic so hard he flew strait up and fell back down.

"No sniff..I'm not mad. JUST EMOTIONALLY DISTROYED JACK ASS!" The pink hedgehog runs away crying. Krystal overheard the entire conversation and walked to Sonic. Sonic saw her approaching so he jumped up and dusted himself off.

"Hey Beautiful, you are the hottest vixen I've ever seen. Would you like to come to my bedroom and so I can show you the spin dash?" Sonic said in a devious and seductive tone.

"There's no way I'd ever get involved with you, you broke someones heart brutally. That doesn't turn me on. You know, I think I'm going to throw you in the air and make you do a barrel role into that steel pillar. Then again I'm not that type of woman." Krystal the stood in a sexy pose that had every curve of her body showing in a flattering way.

"You see this" Krystal said in a sexual tone.

"Yes" Sonic said confused.

"This is what you'll never have." She walks away and Sonic is left staring now very confused. Then A helicopter comes into the grand ballroom.

"Attention in this club place, we're looking for a Paulin" a somewhat drag queen voice said from the helicopter.

"IT'S PAULINE!" Pauline shouted.

"KELLY, I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME!" Peach yelled very excited which automatically got Ganondorf in a better mood all of a sudden.

No probs Peach. We'll teach this skank not to mess with all this woman" Kelly said as she took a heroic pose. Then Pit caught her eye.

"Hey Pixie, you're cute. Wanna piss my parents off by coming home with me and making out in front of them?

"Um...I'M TAKEN!" Pit yelled scared by the big woman.

"You suck, You suck, you suck, YOU FUCKING SUCK!" Kelly said.

"I'm sorry but..."

"Yar a deck. Thank GAWD I have Chuck Norris in my helicopter!

"Wow, you are the most RETARDED drag queen I've ever met!" Pauline laughed.

"I'm gonna go all Pismo Betch on your ASS woman." Kelly gets her shoes which become a robot (just like transformers)

"Your ass is mine BETCH"

Mario then pressed the off button on the robot. The giant Gundam turned back into a shoe.

"Mario, why is Pauline so special. I thought you loved me?" Peach cried

"I did-a love you. I also-a did love Pauline but, she's all woman and-a you're an innocent-a Princess." Mario said in an explanation way.

"Peach, that Mario guy is lame. Go find some new guy before they all become gay." Kelly said to try and comfort Peach.

"Thank you Kelly, I needed you here."

"Well I gotta go. I'm taking this fancy foreign bottle of whiskey too because my grandma is obsessed with it. Oh, my mom made you brownies." Kelly gave her a Tupperware container of brownies and Zelda jumped at them.

"THESE ARE MINE!" Zelda tried to intimidate the the girls.

"That was random" Kelly said.

"I gotta go, take this dynamite and use them against the betch because she is a slutty whore." Kelly then takes out her teleporter, teleports back into the helicopter and flies away.

"Kelly, you truly are rad!" Peach says as she walks out to the balcony alone to look out at the horizon.

"Why do I still feel like the one person I truly loved doesn't love me anymore. This reunion sucks, I want to go home. Peach sat alone the balcony for fifteen minutes crying. Ganondorf was watching and was willing to cut Mario's head off if the plumber ever came into his view. Finally the King of evil walked out onto the balcony.


	7. Almost Midnight

**Almost Midnight**

Peach was very distraught. She was sitting on a lounge chair hugging her legs. She looked towards her legs and saw her still very active breasts wiggling.

"sniff...damn, I forgot to take off the stupid havok bra." Peach pulled her arms up her small puffy sleeves, undid her bra and, took it out of her left sleeve. The Havok bra can attach to a regular bra and that's what peach did. Ganondorf grabbed the Havok Bra before it hit the ground and said with an evil looking smile.

"Can I keep this?" This caused Peach to jump a little because he caught her off guard.

"Fine, but leave me alone, I don't feel like beating you up right now. I'm not a, pardon my language please, piece of ass for you to entertain yourself with. You can ask Pauline for that." peach's eyes started to water as she looked out to wards the horizon again.

"Don't worry, I'll entertain myself with this. Pauline is a bitch and not worthy my attention." Ganondorf sat next to the young Princess and she shivered by the thought of being that close to a perverted king of darkness.

"Why don't you act all obsessed when you're around Zelda. You do kidnap her for a reason don't you."

"Every time I kidnap that girl she throws herself at me like she's a piece of meat. Me being the evil mastermind I am have to say no because doing her hard would make her happy, besides I don't like a girl that wants me as soon as she's in my castle. I want a girl that's virtually untouchable and makes me desire and fantasize about her." Ganondorf looks at Peach with dark desire in his gold eyes. Peach's heart beats faster in fear.

"Mario is the only person I've ever loved. With him I learned that love is painful and it doesn't last. I'll never love you because you're evil. It doesn't matter how much facial hair you have." Peach stands up and looks out the at the horizon more now.

"My beard is much sexier then that plumbers mustache." The evil man laughed.

Back in the ball room, Pokémon Trainer was approaching Pit from behind.

"Hey Pixie, what's up?" Pit turns around quickly and grabbed Pokémon Trainer in a tight hug.

"DON'T EVER LEAVE ME AGAIN BECAUSE WOMEN WILL TRY AND PICK ME UP IF YOU DO!" Pit was crying a little bit.

"Wow, I didn't know that was such a bad thing?" Pokémon Trainer laughed.

"They can't have me because you have me and that's the way it's going to be." Pit said in a direct voice.

"I'm going to get another drink" Pokémon Trainer walked back to the bar.

"DON'T LEAVE ME" Pit followed right away.

"Luigi, why does the fairy boy over there get a lover but my girlfriend is horny for Ike." Link asked looking desperate.

"Um...Pepperoni?" Luigi answered with the best answer he had.

"You really don't think it's because Ike has a bigger pepperoni then I do?"

"Sure, lets-a go with that." Luigi walked away slowly. While Link caught a glimpse of Snake and Falcon pulling out random objects out of their pockets to see who has the bigger random object. This made Links eyes widen to hardcore anime like.

"Maybe If I show off the Master Sword, Ike will be intimidated and Zelda will come back to me!" Link said as a sinister smile crept onto his face. Falco on the other hand was sitting next to a destroyed pink hedgehog.

"Sonic never like me. I wanna kill my self." Amy said upset.

"At least you had a chance, Fox is strait." Falco said as he pulled a picture of Fox and himself when after they defeated Andros when Falco finally decided to help Fox again to free Dinosaur Planet (Sauria if you go by Star Fox Assault). Krystal walked over to Amy.

"That Sonic guy's a real gentleman isn't he?" Krystal said sarcastically.

"I don't want to talk about him." Amy said starting to cry.

"Don't worry little emotional, train wreck, you'll find your vampire one day." Krystal said in a kind one trying to cheer the hedgehog up. Amy looked up at the sapphire vixen.

"What?"

"Sorry, I've been reading my new book too much recently. All I'm trying to say is that you'll find the one you love someday and he might be someone or something you've never expected."

"Thank you lady, you made me feel slightly better." Amy said with a smile.

"No problem and my name is Krystal." Krystal then looked towards Falco.

"Now what's your problem, did fox hurt you pecker again?" Falco shot up blushed a little and got a bit flustered.

"MY WHAT?"

"Your beak, I meant. You take things way too personally." Falco calmed down a little.

"Krystal...I like someone in the...love way, what can I do?" Falco asked desperately.

"Well, showing a few feathers could help, but you're a guy and if you did that, she's bound slap you, walk away and then Bowser will set you ablaze. , so I don't really know how to help you Mr. Lombardi" Krystal patted him on the back and walked into the crowd of people.

"She was ton of help" Falco thought to himself sarcastically.

Candy and Samus were sitting at a table looking very bored.

"I feel so bad for Peach, Mario doesn't deserve such a woman." Candy said to the bored bounty hunter.

"What an ass but, I'm still taking in the fact that Zelda grabbed Game and watch and...KISSED HIM RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!" Samus broke her wine glass in her grip. The girls look to the right of them and see a pyramid structure made of undrank wine glasses.

"It looks like someone's been creative here." Samus said amazed. Candy then focused back on her virgin Piňa Colada.

"What if DK does the same thing to me?"

"Kick him in the nuts, it's their weak spot."

"You know all this stuff don't you?" Candy asked still staring at her glass.

"Well, when you meet annoying aliens that have big dangling balls just hanging there, you shoot them first, then the head."

"Maybe that's why you don't have a boyfriend." Candy said as she looked up at the deadly blond.

"It's too bad I'm very attracted to a nice ass, a sexy face, an athletic build, understands what it's like to fight waves of evil aliens, do the impossible and can make me feel better when I'm bitter like right now." Samus said as she ate a chocolate covered strawberry.

"So you're attracted to Game and Watch why?" Candy asked looking a bit confused.

"He's dark and mysterious."

"Right...Yeah I think you need to look at people like...Snake. Wow, look at the time, it's almost eleven thirty, almost midnight. I'll see you later." Candy gets up and walks towards DK.

"Snake does have a nice ass, but his pants are so spandex that it's really showing every detail but, he looks like he's showing it off to Falcon in a way that looks like he's not. The Smash Bros. Cast is too much of a sausage fest that all the good guys become gay. I bet they don't have this problem during the Dead or Alive tournament." Samus thought to her self.

Candy walked up to see an ape and a plumber swooning over Pauline as she danced. It was like some slutty mating dance.

"Donkey, can you come dance with me? I know how much you love dancing with me. You really showed your enthusiasm when I taught you to dance, so...it might be really romantic and fun. Especially since I'm your girlfriend and you took me here on a date." This was Candy's final attempt to get DK to come to his senses.

"Um...I'm a little occupied watching Pauline gyrate so, maybe tomorrow when we go home and I feel less lust towards Pauline." The ape said without even looking at the poor female kong. These words hurt Candy quite a bit. She decided to walk right next to Pauline and dance provocatively. This caused Pauline to look at her with disgust. DK started to look too. Pauline then started dancing sexier. A full on dance off began between the two women. The hair was flinging everywhere, hips were shaking like no tomorrow, sexy moves were breaking out ever second. Then Pauline did a back hand spring, and landed in her six inch heels in a very sexual pose. That's when Kirby said in a Jon Madden sounding voice.

"BITCH GOT SERVED!!" everyone walked over to Pauline cheering. Candy felt very pissed that she was beaten by such an evil woman. Candy has never been beaten in a dance competition before because she was the best in the Kingdom. The defeated Kong walked over to her big ape boyfriend.

"Donkey, can we please hang out for a bit? I love you." Candy almost started crying. Donkey Kong gave her a glance from the side of his eye.

"I can't believe I never had Pauline as a girlfriend. You're cool Candy but, Pauline is perfect. We're done. I'm sorry Candy but Pauline is captivating. You'll never stack up to such a woman. We can still be friends but we just won't be in love." Pauline gave glanced a Donkey Kong and smiled. That brought the chocolate coloured ape's attention back to the very center of atraction herself. Candy felt a deep impact and ran into the halls crying her heart away.

"Wario, I tell ya', this reunion's becomin' more ofa soap opera every minute." Dedede said as he watched Candy run away. He then sees Link walking like a creepy person towards Zelda and Ike. He looks over to see Amy and Falco looking very emo and, finally he looks at Peach on the balcony with Ganondorf trying to cheer her up.

"I don't-a care. I'm-a going to-a ask Bowser what-a this sex thing is." Wario said as he got up from his chair.

The Ice Climbers walked into the ball room and they catch Luigi's attention.

"Hey, you-a kids go back-a to bed."

"We're 18 idiot boy" the two little people show their legal ID cards to the green plumber that is frozen in his place.

Ganondorf out on the Balcony with Peach notices the time.

"Um, let's go inside it's cold out here." Ganon says nervously.

"It's a nice light breeze, I'm not going anywhere with you." Peach said as she crosses her arms and turns away from the evil king.

"There are...possessed babies, zombies and...deer out here and they can hurt you so let's continue our conversation in...the bomb shelter in the castle...yeah" Ganondorf says even more nervous.

"What are you talking about you weird evil man" Ganondorf then uses his magic to capsulize the Princess in a giant pink crystal.

"IT'S DANGEROUS FOR YOU TO BE OUT HERE TONIGHT AT AND AFTER MIDNIGHT! I KNOW IT MAKES NO SENSE RIGHT NOW BUT, I'LL EXPLAIN WHEN YOU'RE SAFE!" Ganondorf yelled as he grabbed the crystallized Princess and took her into the castle.


	8. Midnight

**Midnight**

A cannon ball came hurling through the ball room. "CRASH" it landed in the far wall. Everyone looked outside to see that the sky went completely matrix like. King K.Rool was seen on a flying pirate ship and he sent the cannon ball through the room. Behind him was Master Hand and Crazy Hand. K. Rool's ship landed in the room.

"Tonight Ladies and Gentlemen, is the night of Prophesy." Master Hand announced.

Then Tabuu flew through the door. Everyone gasped and stepped back except for Dedede, Wario, Bowser and Pauline. Those four walked forward. Mario and DK saw Pauline walking towards the enemy. They Ran up to her.

"Pauline, whats-a matter with you, he'll kill-a you" Mario said as he grabbed her arm. Pauline pulled it away and smiled.

"It's sweet how you think about my well being but, I got you two so confused. I'm not Pauline." Then Pauline's body is covered with light and when it disappears an ugly, scary man in a dress comes out.

"I'm Chris Crocker Y'all" Mario and Donkey Kong's eyes got huge as ran to some flower pots and threw up. Everyone else just looked at "it" disturbed.

"Y'all don't understand beauty. Thanks for the lovely evening boys." Chris said as he batted his eyelashes at Mario and DK. They threw up again.

"Where's the real Pauline?" Zelda asked. Crocker pointed to a white crystal with Pauline in it scarred. Then people came out of the sky. Dr. Egg man came out with his Egg pod and made the drunk blue blur tense up. Waluigi followed suit. Vatii, Andross, Mother Brain, and Godzilla were the last to arrive.

"Playing with you boys was fun but I think I like this guy better." Chris Crocker said as he approached Pit. This of course scarred the young angel, so he hid behind Pokémon Trainer.

"You'll never touch him." PT said with wildfires blazing in his eyes.

"Oh it's OK honey, we can have a threesome if you wanna." Crocker said with a devious smile. Pokémon Trainer tightened up while Pit hid behind him.

"Come on baby, come play with my Wii." Crocker pointed towards his dirty area. PT, who was completely pissed now grabbed a Pokéball from his pocket.

"Go Charazard" Pokémon Trainer yelled. Charazard emerged from the small ball.

"Flame Thrower, now Charazard." The giant dragon Pokémon used his intense fire breath on the scary thing that is Chris Crocker.

"Y'all play nasty. I'll take your virginity later angel boy. Crocker said while smoke came off "it's" charred body.

"Pokémon Trainer, that was so brave. I knew you cared about me." Pokémon Trainer returned Charazard to his Pokéball and put it in his pocket. Then The young Trainer walked over to Pit and put his on Pit's cheek.

"If that guy pops your man cherry before I'm drunk enough to do it, I don't know what I'd do with myself." PT smiled while Pit blushed.

Then the clock struck Midnight, Tabuu Opened his wings to reveal to glowing white orbs. There were six spots glowing on the ground. The two orbs floated to two of them. Inside the orbs were Princess Midna and Princess Rosalina. Mario and Link saw this and they got pissed?

Peach and Ganondorf were in the Basement. Peach was still in the crystal. "Crrrrr" was the noise the stone doors made while he closed them. Peach was admiring his muscles a little but, she reminded herself that she was being held captive by the King of Evil.

"Fine, now that we're here, please tell me why you needed to imprison me in this crystal, lock me down here with you and, not letting me out of this thing.

"The reason you're still in the crystal so that their detection devises don't sense your vibe energy. They are a group of evil beings that I myself am in, however You've caught my attention in a positive way and I can't bare to see you hurt or killed. You see you are one of the current generation Universal Princesses. A long time ago, Tabuu learned that there are six young ladies that have an amazing amount of power that goes virtually untouched until they learn about it. It's called Vibe Energy and it's when you concentrate your emotional energy. Tabuu learned that this is the most powerful energy in the entire universe. He trapped all six of them in Vibe Orbs which contain the girls and devour their Vibe Energy and send it to Tabuu. The orbs are virtually indestructible. The Hero a long time ago goes by the name of Shigeru Miyamoto. He damaged Tabuu to the point that he couldn't hold the orbs any more ant the orbs disintegrated. The Princesses stood on six spots on the floor and used their power to seal Tabuu in the Forbidden Realm."

"Peach realized how serious Ganondorf was being. She got a little scared.

"Will they take me?" Peach asked with sadness in her words. Ganondorf walked over to the crystal and looked Peach directly in the eyes.

"I will protect you with my life. If they do manage to get a hold of you I swear, I'll kill the son of a bitch." Ganondorf wasn't joking. There were no signs of joking in his voice. They were looking at each other in the eyes. The king of darkness realized how kind he was being. Usually he wouldn't care about anyone but himself. Princess Peach however, makes him want to be her black night in shining armor.

"Ganondorf, as uncomfortable as I am in this crystal, I want to thank you for going to all this trouble to protect me. I originally thought you were going to rape me." The dark lord smiled at this.

"I probably would if this situation wasn't so serious." Peach was a little scared by what he just said but she felt very comfortable around Ganondarf right now. Even though the story he told her still had to be proven.

Back in the Ballroom, things were about to get crazy.

"My minions, use your Detection Stars to find the four other Universal Princesses. Bring them to me so I can imprison them in my Vibe Orbs. This time, I SHALL RULE THE UNIVERSE." All the enemies go out on the search. The "guests" were either running away, or getting ready to fight.

Mother Brain found Samus and her Detection Star began to glow.

"DAMMIT, I WISH I HAD MY VARIA SUIT." The bounty hunter grabbed her gun and started shooting it. Snake and Falcon also began attacking the alien. Samus whipped her laser whip at Mother Brain which stunned it. Snake was using his rifles on it and, Falcon was using Falcon Punch on it. Samus then made a move she completely regretted. She slid under the giant alien to the side closer to Tabuu. The evil butterfly man saw her and sent an orb down to her. She was captured and placed on one of the four remaining spots.

Vatii and Waluigi were together when Waluigi's star began to glow. They looked around at all the girls around but it only really started to glow when it was pointed in Zelda's direction.

"Good evening Princess Zelda we need to kidnap you so our master can rule the universe." Vatii said very proud.

"Look over there, Snake's taking his clothes off." Both boys look in that direction as Zelda transforms into Sheik. The boys turned around.

"Where's-a elf Princess?" Waluigi asked.

"I dunno, you see a man in front of you right now." The star was still glowing and Vatii noticed something.

"You have boobs, you're either a tranny or, you're Zelda in disguise."

"Damn, you saw through my disguise." Sheik becomes Zelda again.

"Enough of your creepy gender bending and get moving." Vatii said angry at the Hyrulian Princess. Then Ike jumped between the two men dressed in purple ant the Princess.

"I don't think you'll be capturing my Princess. Ike said as he drew out his mighty Ragnell. Link then joins in with his Master sword. The four young men wage an epic battle. Waluigi mostly dodging attack. Wario the creeps behind Zelda, gags her and takes the to Tabuu where she is captured in a Vibe Orb. Link was too focused on the two others to notice Zelda was gone. Ike however checks up on her. He then looks and sees four orbs in front of Tabuu. The young swordsman jumps to see them and sees Zelda is captured in one. Ike pulls out his Ragnel and slashes it but there's no use. The Ice climbers then try to help.

"Come on Nana, let's use our ultimate weapons." the twins stand next to each other and scream out.

"HAMMER LASER." A powerful laser comes out of each hammer disintegrating their parkas. The lasers hit Zelda's orb but have no affect. Luigi looks at them and sees what those parkas were hiding. Popo was short, but he was built like a roman god. His hair was spiked. Fortunately he was wearing his boots and underwear. Nana had two long ponytails. She had amazing curves and fairly large breasts. She was also covered by her underwear and boots.

"Nana, you're not my twin, you don't have a penis." Popo said to her.

"Fraternal Twins, hello" Nana replied.

"We need to get these girls out of these orbs so stay focused you two." Ike said in the voice he used when he was leading his troops. There were still two Princesses left to find.


	9. Barrel Roll

**Barrel Roll**

The ball room was full of action. Link who was using the master sword to try and break bot Zelda's and Midna's orbs.

"Link I need you to read and understand this" Midna used some of the power she had left to provide Link a scroll. Now the energy sucking had REALLY started to wear her down.

_You Got _**The Ancient Prophesy of the Universal Princesses**. _It's written in some exotic language and might come in handy. If it doesn't you have something new to write your emo feelings down on._

"What type of foreign language is this?" Link asks like a puzzled child.

"It....it's.....English" Midna's body is taking critical damage.

"What is English?"

"DAMMIT LINK JUST GIVE IT TO MARIO TO READ YOU ILLITERATE BASTARD" Zelda yells completely pissed. Link runs like a screaming little girl flailing his arms around in the air.

"Mario, I need you to read this but, I need you to read it in ENGLISH and then translate it to Hyrule Speakage" Mario raises an eyebrow at Link and grabs the Scroll. Well here-a it goes. Mario clears his throat and give us his best impression Samuel L. Jackson voice.

"_Once upon a time the universe was at peace. While in an alternate universe there was chaos and between the Jedi and the Sith, there was tranquility in The Universe of Nintendo. Six Princesses who lived in different worlds had a job to keep the peace. They had the power to keep peace in the Universe. _

_Then one day, an evil butterfly man saw how these young ladies had been keeping the peace. We shall call him Mister Butterfly. Mister Butterfly was already very powerful and he knew that if he captured the Princesses, he'd have power that would be OVER 9000. He created Vibe Orbs which were used to capture the Princesses and take their power.  
_

_Mister Butterfly only thought there were five Princesses. He didn't expect the sixth one to come. The sixth Princess was a young and beautiful woman from the planet of mushrooms. Mr. Butterfly knew that he had until daybreak and the powers would be his so he was already too focused of getting the other Princesses powers to bother them. The Princess summoned a wave of vibe energy, which sent the other Princesses free and sent the evil butterfly man flying to the uncharted reaches of the lost universe never to be seen again. Well, he's gone for good now so I'm going to Finnish my slice of chocolate cake, which I'm eating before my steak. What a rebel I am"_

"That was deep, a story of epic proportions." Link says raising his sword with dignity. Mario reads the prophesy again with one eyebrow raised.

"Well, who-a ever wrote this-a was no Shakespeare or Stephenie Meyer, but it-a does tell us-a that we have until sun-a rise to free the Princesses and-a find and protect the other-a two."

"Wow Mario, you are like......what's the word...........................Smart."

"You know-a whats-a funny, I hear-a people say Flurrie has-a epic proportions." Mario says laughing

Amy Rose and Candy Kong ran into the castle together and complaining about their "significant others" into the castle. They were now in the highest room in the tallest tower in the castle.

"Sonic is such a jerk. I'm going to laugh so hard when Krystal tells him she has a boyfriend." Amy said looking at a picture of Mario kicking Sonic's ass during the Brawl Tournament.

"My boyfriend is being played by this super plastic Pauline woman. I swear she's a Barbie doll. If I had fire breath I'd melt her. I seriously would, with NO HESITATION at all." Candy made tight fists with the pent up rage burning inside her.

"I wonder what would happen if I had hit on that wolf guy? Sonic would've probably gotten defensive.

"Or Wolf would have taken you to his bedroom and done something illegal." Amy shivered at the thought

"Huh, I wish love was easy. At the moment IT SUCKS." Amy looks out the window and sees a lot of lights.

"I think I want revenge on Sonic the Hedgehog." Amy put her hands on her hips and walks towards the door.

"Have fun" Candy waves as Amy leaves the room. The pink simian then hugs herself and starts to cry.

"I'm not wanted. Hell I'm barely in any Donkey Kong games and Donkey Kong fans hate me. I'm not cool enough to be invited to race in the Mario Cart Grand Prix or any other Mushroom Kingdom sports event. No wonder DK ditched me." Candy sat there thinking about herself and her minimal existence.

With all the action going on, Fox, Krystal and Falco got to their Arwings to try and attack Tabuu via aerial attack.

Then two a laser struck Falco's Arwing and destroyed it.

"FUCK" Falco yelled.

"Krystal, I want you to get in my Arwing, I'll make some room. Falco you take Krystal's Arwing" Fax commanded

"Yes Sir." Falco said as he got in the arwing. He always feels turned on whenever Fox gives orders"

The ships take off and they start shooting.

"Foolish furries" Tabuu laughs and send his swirling lasers which hit Falco and send him flying to the ground. Falco Jumps out mid descent though and lands safely right next to Pit and Pokémon Trainer. King K. Rool starts shooting cannonballs at Fox and Krystal but they keep avoiding them. Then one starts hurling directly at them.

"Dammit Fox, how can you be so damn incompetent." Krystal yells. Then on the little screen Peppy's face shows up and says: "Press L or Z tw.........." Krystal cut him off.

"DO A GOD DAMN BARREL ROLL FOX" Krystal said impatiently.

The Arwing does a Barrel Roll,and avoids being hit but one of Bowser's Bullet Bills hit it and the ship starts to lose altitude.

"FOX, I THINK I HATE YOU" Krystal said as she jumped out of the air craft.

"KRYSTAL I DID THE BEST I COULD BUT A MUCH AS I TRIED, THERE ARE JUST TOO MANY PEOPLE HERE TO AMBUSH US"

"I believe you fox" Falco says quietly watching the two falling.

Bowser's orb starts glowing when he's close to Krystal and he goes at warp speed in his Koopa Clown Car to catch her. He grabs her left leg and throws it to K. Rool.

"HEY I'M NOT A TOY. LET ME THE FUCK GO" K, Rool Throws her to Tabuu who summons a Vibe Orb and captures the royal blue vixen.

"EXCELLENT WORK, WE ONLY NEED ONE MORE! MINIONS START SEARCHING THE CASTLE." Tabuu commands and the heroes go in first to try and find and Protect her, whoever she is.

Diddy Kong's mind suddenly thinks Princess Peach and uses his amazing speed and impulses to find her before anybody else does. Diddy has rescued Donkey Kong before and saved a couple of Islands so he knows what he is doing. The only obstacle would be to find her but not lead the enemies to her.


	10. Distractions

**Distractions**

There she was, all alone, upset and completely oblivious to the events downstairs. She needed to relax and nurse her broken heart. The Kong who goes by the name Candy had glistening tears flowing from her eyes down her face.

"Why does everybody hate me, am I really that ugly these days? I'm very intellectual and kind hearted too. Why can't Pauline just go back to obscurity where she came from?" Candy holds herself tighter.

"I'm not good enough for anything. Nobody likes Candy Kong, not even her boyfriend..."

Down in the basement, Peach and Ganondorf are talking quietly.

"So, you actually have a little bit of a heart, I was afraid you were going to be just as much of a sexist pig as a lot of the guys up there who are trying to hook up tonight." Peach says smiling a little. She can't help feeling a little nervous still.

"Don't go spreading rumours around now Princess, I'm still very much evil." Ganondorf gives her a sly smile.

"I don't believe you are all that evil" Peach says hesitantly.

"What makes you say that?" Peach gives Ganondorf the most sincere look he's probably ever seen.

"If you were, then you'd have delivered me to whoever you're hiding me from."

Back in the Ball Room, Diddy is trying to get into the castle without a lot of attention. Suddenly an idea hits him. He left the room with all the other young brawlers when he left with the Ice Climbers. Diddy pulls out his blackberry and texts Yoshi.

_Yoshi, I'm heading back into the room, keep everyone in there quiet because the halls are full of evil...evil. I'm going to make my way up there now. When I come to the door I'm going to say Khaki Barn, that way you know its me._

_-Diddy_

Diddy then walks over to Link and Ike.

"I need you two to distract everyone here, be creative because they need to be distracted GOOD"

Link smiles and nods.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT THING I WANT TO SAY" Link yells then looks over to Ike who nods. Ike snaps his fingers at Roy, signaling him to stand beside Link to the left.

"Well fool, what is it?" Taboo says looking annoyed.

"ITS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER" Everyone looks over at them.

"AND YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS A SECOND OF IT" Everyone in the room then yells 'WHAT IS IT"

Then the three guys strike a pose and Link starts to sing.

"_All the single ladies, all the single ladies, All the single ladies, all the single ladies, All the single ladies, all the single ladies, All the single ladies Now put your hands up._

_Up in the club, we just broke up. I'm doing my own little thing. Decided to dip and now you wanna trip, cause another brother noticed me. I'm up on him, he up on me. Don't pay him any attention. Just cried my tears, for three good years, You can't be mad at if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it. If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it. Don't be mad once you see that he want it. If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on , Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh." _

Everyone who had been watching Link, Roy and Ike's little embarrassing dance started laughing hysterically, including the girls in the crystals who were in pain. This was the perfect distraction and Diddy wasted no time starting his plan. He darted strait to the room where the kids were staying. Luckily for him none of the goons searching the castle were around to catch him_._

Diddy Kong looks around first to ensure the coast is clear. Unfortunately he sees Wario. Now Wario doesn't know Diddy is there but Wario knows that Wario is there. He is occupied with looking at himself in a mirror, posing in a frightening manner.

"Oh Wario, you such a beautiful man. You have-a big boobies that everyone wants to touch. You are-a living art. The Wario Lisa Wah hah hah." Diddy was obviously mentally scarred by this frightening display but he knew he had to get Wario out of the way so that he could get to the room that the kids were at. The little chimp sees a Canadian penny on the ground which is lucky fro him because everyone knows how greedy Wario is.

Diddy chucked the penny to the other side of the hall where in hit a picture of Mario from Mario Kart 64. Ironically a red rupee came out of the picture when the penny hit it. Wario saw the shine and became instantly distracted. Diddy then does his best impression of the King of Hyrule.

"I SEEM TO HAVE ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED MY FORIGNE CURRENCY." Dollar signs appear in Wario's eyes as he runs over to grab the shiny things. Diddy runs past him. He makes it to the big regal door to the room the young ones are sleeping in. "tap tap tap" Diddy quietly knocks on the door and says "Khaki Barn". Yoshi is a little suspicious. Yoshi walks over to Lucas who just so happens to be standing close to the green Dinosaur. Yoshi whispers something into the boys ear and he nods in acknowledgment to what he has bee told.

"If you really are Diddy Kong only you will be able to answer this question." The Blonde boy says a little bit nervous. Diddy is rolls his eyes. "Fine"

Lucas takes a deep breath to build up his nerve. Then he asks the question. "What is the Sub-C Radio Frequency" Diddy Kong's eyes widen and he freezes because he doesn't know.

"Great, I have no idea what this is supposed to mean." He pulls out some letter he found earlier. He opens it with a soft "rip" and reads it hoping its a cheat sheet.

"Even worse, its just a letter to some fifteen year old saying from his Grandfather who is excited to see him over some type of vacation." Then the letter slips from his fingers into a small bucket of water.

"NO THAT WAS MY ONLY HOPE" says the flustered chimp watching the letter get soggy. Then out of nowhere something appears on the submerged piece of water. Diddy takes the letter out of the water and to his surprise not only is the paper very durable but the answer was now staring him in the face.

"THE FREQUENCY IS 747 MHZ" Diddy shouts triumphantly.

"Correct" says Lucas from behind the door who had just made a sigh of relief.


End file.
